Howlett, you know about computers. Why don’t you sell this stuff on the internet?
I heard those words over twenty years ago while sitting in the kitchen and drinking coffee with my friend Hugh. At the time, I had just graduated from college and started a software job in Rhode Island.
Though I did not know it at the time, those were words that completely changed the trajectory of my life and the life of my family.
I met Hugh through the church we were attending. A few decades older than I, he was a successful real estate developer in Rhode Island. Being a real estate developer is hard enough, but that is especially true in a state like Rhode Island that has little available land and a ton of government regulation designed to make development as hard as possible. Hugh thrived in that world of political and legal skirmishes, and he was full of war stories. One fight with an environmental activist went all the way to the US Supreme Court (he won).
I am not sure why Hugh took an interest in me, but he did. Marla and I became friends with him and his wife Vera. I taught their young children piano on Saturday mornings and usually stayed to chat with him. It was one of those mornings when he suggested I start that online business selling a health product sitting on his counter.
Hugh was a bit ahead of the time with that suggestion. Back in 1998, Amazon only sold books and very few people were buying anything online. I probably had not purchased much of anything online myself.
Nevertheless, I took him seriously and went home, and over the next month, built perhaps the ugliest e-commerce website in history. Hugh and I both invested $500 into startup costs, and we opened for business.
That website still exists today. It is still modestly profitable and is run by my children. Soon though, my family moved to Atlanta (where we still live), and Hugh and I dissolved our partnership. I would go on to bigger things, some successful and some spectacular failures. Hugh’s business continued to grow as well.
Hugh would never stop being a giant in my life even after we moved. The way I think about business has been heavily influenced by things he taught me. He was always there to listen, give advice, and frankly, give me correction. A lot of times, I needed correction.
I remember a time where I made the mistake of using the phrase “it’s not personal; it’s just business” with Hugh. He let me know very quickly that I was thinking wrong. Business is personal. How you treat people you interact with through your business matters. You can be tough in business (and often have to be), but your integrity and character matter.
Beyond business, Hugh and Vera taught Marla and me how to live. Hugh worked hard and loved his work, but he also knew how to play hard. We explored the incredible restaurants of Rhode Island. After we moved to Atlanta, we visited them when they vacationed in Florida in the winter, and we went skiing with them several times in Utah. I remember seeing Hugh get excited when we met Tiger Woods out on the slopes one day.
Last week, Marla and I flew to Rhode Island to say goodbye to Hugh. He had been in the hospital for a while, but because of covid restrictions in New England, we were not able to visit. When the family told me he was coming home for the end, we got covid tests and booked flights right away.
Hugh was weak but still wanted to talk. He quizzed me again about why I quit my music career. (That always bothered him.) He mentioned all the laughs we shared. We laughed a lot over the years, and Hugh often said that laughing is an instant vacation.
I asked him if he remembered that conversation over twenty years ago when he told me I should sell something on the internet. He smiled as much as he could and murmured “another thing I was right about.”
One of the last things I said to Hugh was I appreciated that he taught me how to live well. He started crying because he knew what I meant.
The last thing he told me was to “stay true.” He did not have the strength to elaborate, but I did not need him to explain. I knew.
Hugh converted to Christianity as an adult, and his faith changed his life. For him, staying true meant staying grounded in that faith and living accordingly: working hard, staying balanced (ie: playing hard), being a good father and husband, treating people well, and keeping integrity in business dealings. I have known very few people that did these things as well as he did. Hugh did life well.
Over twenty years ago, on one of the last nights before we left Rhode Island, Hugh and Vera took us to their favorite restaurant in Providence, and we ate at a special table there in the kitchen. During the summer of 2019, when our family was on vacation there, we invited them back to that restaurant, and we ate at that same table. Here is a picture from that night.
There is a gigantic hole in Rhode Island now. I have always loved the state, but it will never be quite the same for me.
There are some obvious takeaways to all of this about how just being a great example, showing a bit of interest, and speaking a few words can change someone’s life. I am the beneficiary of that truth. I am not going to go into all that though because I don’t need to. You get the point.
Live well.